sex machines museum
Early in your relationship, you almost dive into bed with your partner, enthusiastic and looking forward to the experience. Now? As time goes on, you have other obligations, and by the end, sex doesn't sound as appealing as a new episode of Bridgetown. Sex can feel like going through the motions, checking off an item on a to-do list, or it can feel routine and uncreative.
This monotonous change may make you ask yourself, are you bored with your sex life? If this question pops into your head, we'll tell you how to tell if your sex life is flat and offer some helpful tips.
How can you tell if you're bored with sex?
First, how do you know if you're bored with sex? It's important to distinguish between lack of desire and boredom. Decreased desire and boredom sometimes overlap, but they are not the same! It's common for your sex drive to fluctuate at different stages of your life. You may encounter changes in libido due to stress, medication, excessive or lack of exercise, or alcohol consumption. A change in your sex drive may mean that your thoughts about sex are less enthusiastic.
Being bored in bed is slightly different from having a decreased libido, which could mean you're not interested in your sexual habits. You may get bored with your masturbation, your performance in bed, your partner, various positions, or a particular role play. Struggling to decide if you're bored with sex? A good sign might be that you're disgusted by things that are too familiar, don't feel any excitement, or even avoid sex altogether.
Why does sex become boring?
Watch the same movie a thousand times and you know how it ends? When sex feels overrehearsed, it can become tedious because it does not include stimulation or new elements such as posture, swear words, role play, or spontaneity.
Sometimes sex gets boring for the following reasons.
You're not trying anything new.
You already know what feels good or how to turn you or your partner on, so sex is a race to the finish line.
Only one person started it.
Or maybe your partner is hiding what you really want.
You're not making sex a priority.
The sexual chemistry was gone, or never matched.
Fortunately, there are ways to add some pizzazz to sex.
How do you capture more O's than Zs
Get your sex toys in here.
If you and your partner don't have any sex toys, now might be the perfect time to shop. Why is that? Fun toys can add new excitement, feeling and spark to your bedroom. Use one on your partner, or explore couple toys, and use it together. Sex toys can serve as a gateway to explore quirks, fantasies and desires. If sex is boring, add something new and special. Sex toys can make orgasms feel different because they are specifically designed for pleasure.
Talk about all kinds of things
If you're bored in the bedroom, you can have a sexy conversation about sexual excitement with your lover. You can have this conversation with your partner in bed, or even at the dinner table. Be sure to write about your and your partner's excitement. A physical list can help people remember and refer to what to try when they are in high spirits. In this conversation, before you try it, first you need to know how exciting it is for both of you. The excitement is entirely up to the individual, but it can also go something like this:
Swearing during sex
When your partner is more aggressive
When the partner is more submissive
With a toy.
When a partner starts
Touch specific erogenous zones.
Scratching, pulling hair, slapping
Plan a sexy date with no expectations
To add spark in the bedroom, plan an emotional date, but don't expect sex. This may seem counterintuitive, but there's a reason behind it. For some people, the stress of sex can be a major emotional killer. Scheduling intimate time free of sexual pressure can help couples rekindle intimacy and relax together. Physical time allocated together does not need to be carefully planned. It can be as simple as unplugging your device, lying on the floor together, petting, or cuddling. If you're having sex, great! If not, that's okay. Nurturing time can help your partner achieve goals and explore desires.
Play dirty games
If sex is boring because you don't have hot ideas, why not try a dirty game that will tell you what to do? You can improvise a striptease or chess game, or buy a deck of cards specifically designed for you and your partner. Dirty play can provide the next position to try or lick body parts. In addition to inspiration, sexy games can also help you get creative in bed.