Trend alert! Prostate massagers are some of the most popular sex toys on the market today, and with good reason. Also known as P-spot massagers, these toys are designed to target and stimulate the super-sensitive prostate gland. Prostate massagers can be extremely beneficial and very enjoyable for men/people assigned male at birth who want to try anal play, and for couples looking to explore new ways to play.
But, before you can learn how to massage your prostate properly and pleasurably, there are some things that you should know about the act of self-prostate massaging. First off, the word ‘self’ is a bit of a spoiler, but self-prostate massage requires only one person, you.
If you’re a newbie prostate massager, there’s no better way to explore the almighty P-spot than solo. You can relax, take your time, and really pinpoint what feels best for you. Plus, if you eventually decide to include a partner in your prostate pleasures, you’ll know just how to coach them.
Below, we’re rounding up some of the most-asked questions about prostate massage in general, tips on how to perform a self prostate massage, some sex toys that you might want to try, and more. Ready? Let’s go.
IS IT HEALTHY TO MASSAGE YOUR PROSTATE?
Yes, massaging (or milking, as it’s sometimes called) your prostate is healthy! Not only does it help keep your entire sexual system in tip-top shape, but it feels really great as well. Plus, when you massage or milk your prostate, you’re learning more about what feels good for you. That’s always a good thing.
We’re not going to get into anything overly medical, but there are some well-documented health and wellness upsides to prostate massage. One is the prevention of prostatitis. Prostatitis is a swelling and inflammation of the prostate gland. It can cause problems like pain or difficulty when urinating, and pelvic pain. Your doctor may even recommend or perform a prostate massage to help diagnose or treat the condition.
There’s even some evidence that regular prostate massage - and regular orgasms - can help with erectile dysfunction. Some men swear that they can ejaculate more intensely or easily thanks to prostate massages. That’s what we like to hear!
HOW DO I KNOW WHEN I FIND MY PROSTATE?
This is the tricky part. A good start is trying an external prostate massage.When you’re trying to find your p-spot from the outside via your perineum, it can be difficult to pinpoint an exact area by feel. You’ll have to rely on sensation. When you’ve found the right spot, it’ll probably feel good. Very good. If you’re not used to the sensation, it can feel a little like you have to pee, but that’s just because the prostate gland is in close proximity to your bladder and urethra.
From the inside, your prostate will most likely feel noticeably different than the rest of your anal cavity. Gently insert a well-lubed finger a few inches into your butt, then crook or curl your fingers up slowly. The prostate gland should feel like a firm, fleshy bulb. Once you’ve pinpointed it, you may feel an instant jolt of pleasure that could resonate throughout your entire body. Some people report feeling a unique sensation in their penis, as well.
HOW DOES SELF PROSTATE MASSAGE FEEL?
Good. Very good. For some people. Yes, that was a very noncommittal answer, but as you hopefully know, everyone is unique! What feels amazing for one person feels ‘meh’ to another, so there’s no one-size-fits-all explanation for how prostate massage feels for everyone. That said, the overwhelming consensus is VERY positive!
Self prostate stimulation can feel entirely different than the sexual sensations you’re used to. There’s even a term for the type of all-encompassing, full-body shudders that some men and AMAB people experience - the Super O. This type of orgasm can happen with or without ejaculation, and many people report that their eventual climax is slower to build. Many prostate owners describe the sensation as quite different from a penile or traditional ‘male orgasm’ and also report that prostate stimulation combined with penile stimulation can be over-the-top pleasurable.
All that said, you might not enjoy the sensation of prostate stimulation, and that’s okay, too.
WHY DO PEOPLE MASSAGE THEIR PROSTATES?
First off, there’s been much more of a dialogue around sexual pleasure over the last few years, and that includes all things anal. This is a good! It’s very possible that at least a few prostate-owning people had their curiosity piqued, and decided to give prostate massage and/ or prostate milking a try. Like the name suggests, self prostate massage is done solo, and it’s a great non-threatening, pressure-free way to explore.
For many men and AMAB people, prostate massage feels really, really good. That’s a reason in itself, and a great one, by the way. Really, the question should be, why wouldn’t people massage their prostates if it’s something they’re interested in?
ARE THERE ANY RISKS?
When done properly, there are very few risks associated with prostate massage. Keyword: properly!
Hopefully, you’re aware that the anal area doesn’t produce lubrication, so you’ll definitely need to supplement self prostate massage (and any type of anal penetration) with lots of a great quality lube. Trust us, anal penetration with not enough lube involved will not be enjoyable, and could damage the delicate skin of your anus.
Any time you’re playing in and around your butt, you’ll want to make sure everything involved gets properly cleaned afterward. There’s no shortage of bacteria in the anal region, and careless clean-up can spread those germs around. So wash up!
Using an object that’s not meant to be inserted into your butt can, of course, cause injury, so please don’t. There are literally millions of safe sex toys to choose from, instead.
HOW TO PERFORM A SELF PROSTATE MASSAGE
There are many different ways you can perform a self prostate massage, and the method you choose will largely depend on what you’re comfortable with and what feels best for you, specifically. We’ve rounded up some of the best-of prostate massage techniques below, but feel free to experiment with your own, too.
If you’re just starting out, it’s probably a good idea to start simple. Use something you already have on-hand, so to speak: a finger. Add lots of lube, and you’re good to go. If you decide to use a toy (we’ll get more into toys later) for your self prostate massage adventures, you can use the same methods we’ll describe. You may just need to modify them slightly. All of these techniques involve penetrating your butt before all else, so get comfy, lube up, and go at your own pace.
A classic. This technique involves curling or angling your fingers upward repeatedly, as if you were beckoning someone to ‘come here.’ Insert a well-lubed finger into your anal canal as slowly as necessary. No rush. When you’re about four inches in, curl your finger up as if you were trying to tickle your belly button from the inside. When you’ve pinpointed your p-spot firmer, bulbous area, start experimenting with speed and pressure.
You’ve probably rung a doorbell or two in your day, right? Great, you’re halfway there! Once you’re comfortable, rest the pad of your finger near the prostate (you’ll need to curl your fingers up first), then press firmly as if you were ringing someone’s doorbell or buzzer. Adjust the position of your finger as needed, then play around with pressure and speed to your heart’s content - or until orgasm!
This technique builds on the come-hither. After you’ve targeted your p-spot with a curved, lubed-up finger, use the pad of that finger to rub in a circular motion. Try to find the perimeter of your prostate, and work your way around it. As that pleasurable pressure starts to build, you can try either of the above techniques, or stay true to those sexy circles.
PROSTATE MASSAGE TOYS FOR AMAZING SENSATIONS
So, you’ve gotten comfortable with the idea of prostate massage, and you’ve tried some self massage techniques with your finger(s). Great! If you’re ready to try some prostate massager sex toys, you’re in luck. There are tons of options.
The nice thing about massaging your prostate with a sex toy is this: there are literally millions of specialized prostate massagers (vibrating prostate massager and non-vibrating prostate massager) to choose from. Prostate massagers are usually quite curvy, so when they’re inserted, they naturally pinpoint your prostate when inserted. You’ll remember that when using your finger to massage your prostate, you need to curl your finger up, as if you’re trying to reach your belly button from inside. A good prostate massager does all that work for you.
Many prostate massagers come complete with a vibration feature, although there are plenty of stationary (non-vibrating) options, too. Vibration can take over for you having to move the toy inside you, or add more stimulation to manual maneuvers. Sex toy technology has come a very long way over the last decade, and today you’ll be able to find prostate massager sex toys that rotate, thrust, or move in that famous ‘come hither’ motion we talked about.
Of course, since no two bodies are exactly alike, you may need to experiment with depth, pressure, and angle to find the position that works best for you and your toy. Most prostate massagers are on the firm side, which is great when it comes to the act of massaging (or circling, or trying the doorbell). That said, many are also flexible enough to allow for adjustment and easy insertion. The majority of prostate massagers are made of silicone, although there are also plastic, glass, and steel versions available.. If you’re looking for the best prostate massager for beginners, go with something a little softer to start.
Many anal sex toys can be used for prostate massage, although you might not get quite the same effect as with, say, a glass dildo designed expressly for prostate stimulation. For instance, certain butt plugs can stimulate the prostate simply by being in your butt, and the same goes for anal dildos. Whenever you’re putting any sex toy in your butt, please be sure that there’s a nice wide base (sometimes called a ‘flange’) to help prevent the toy from traveling too far inside your anal canal. Safety first!
WRAPPING IT UP: SELF PROSTATE MASSAGING CAN TAKE YOU TO NEW PLEASURE HEIGHTS
When done right, self prostate massaging can take you to new levels of erotic bliss. Prostate massage is a great way to tune in to your body and what feels good for you. So go slow, use LOTS of lube, and really pay attention to your body. You won’t regret it!