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If you're struggling with sexual enlightenment in a relationship, what can you do? Here are some suggestions:
Have a one-time checkup with your partner. If you want your partner to be more proactive, it's important to have a fuller picture of your sex life first. Please note that this isn't about complaining, accusing or shaming -- it's about really trying to understand that the other person is a sexual person so that you can develop a good sex life together.
For example, maybe your partner wants to be more active, but is depressed or stressed and often not in the mood for sex. Or sex is painful for them, or they have sexual difficulties, but they don't tell you, causing them to avoid sex. Maybe they just don't experience a lot of spontaneous desire, or they just don't realize that you want them to initiate more. The more you know the other person, the more effective solutions you will find.
Try to mix your franchise strategy. After all, there's more than one way to start having sex! The study found that people don't always understand their partner's enlightening cues, meaning that sometimes one partner is enlightening without the other realising it. Some attempts to join clubs can also be seen as irritating, so sometimes we inadvertently lose interest in our partners because we don't approach sex in the way that got them started. Initiative can include verbal demands, sexting, intimate contact, nudity (for example, walking out of the bedroom naked), and so on. Try different things and find out what your partner responds to and what doesn't.
Start at a different time of day. Some people are hungry in the morning, some in the afternoon or evening. Sometimes we start out out of sync, which brings us back to the importance of really getting to know each other sexually.
Think of joining as a slower process, rather than "Let's have sex now!" You (and your partner) may benefit from giving wake up time to build.
Change your mind-set from thinking that sex must immediately follow initiation attempts to a more flexible mind-set. Initiation can take place at night, during the day, or early in the week. Let the excitement and anticipation build and you'll find yourself having more and/or better sex.